The Wandering Mawr(ter)

Don’t you hate it when you go to the store and think you’re shopping wisely until you see the bill price of everything slowly rise above your budget. I know I do.

Then you have to go home and make as many excuses as possible to reason out why it was okay for you to spend that much– you hadn’t spent much in a while, you needed those things, or you’ll just pack your lunch and not buy anything else for the rest of the week to make up for it. Right?

Luckily, college isn’t like that. I know that what I’ve spend is worth the cost, which is a lot more than I can say about my resent shopping trip that is forcing me to sit on my bed in remorse regretting what I’ve done.

Regarding the rest of my life, my thesis is slowly making progress, spring break is almost over, and I think I might have a final copy of my resume finally written. Hopefully I’ll have a job interview or two lined up at some point?

Anyway, that’s all for now.

I admit it, I completely forgot about my blogging career amongst all the other things I’ve been doing this year. Who knew Senior Year could be so complicated?

But it’s Spring Break now, so I suddenly have time to catch up on all the things I’ve let fall by the wayside. I’ve read some books in Spanish. I’ve done a few phone interviews for teaching English abroad jobs. I’ve re-written my resume 15 times and visited a career counselor at the Bryn Mawr CDO (which is the career development office and I’ve extremely thankful they’re open over break!) I’ve also worked ALOT at my on-campus job. I’m almost to the point that I HAVE to take off because I’m at risk of  getting overtime and the week’s just started.

So right now, I’m sitting in my kitchen while my chicken simmers in Trader Joe’s Masala sauce so that I can have a nice relaxing Indian dinner and do my best not to think about where I’m going to be after May 12th (Graduation Day).

I’ve been thinking about getting certified to teach English as a second language and find a job in some exotic land far away.

…or… something here. I’d be happy just staying here in Bryn Mawr for a while. I have a place to live, the rent is affordable, and this town feels like home now.

I know that wherever the next few months take me, I don’t regret a moment of my time at Bryn Mawr. Honestly, I wish I could stay here longer! It’s an intense, time-intensive, exhausting and beautiful experience studying at Bryn Mawr… my thesis, the friends I’ve had, the things I’ve seen, the lectures I’ve been to… EVERYTHING… has changed my live in so many wonderful ways.

To any of you who are reading this blog because you are about to go to Bryn Mawr or are thinking of going to Bryn Mawr: I want you to please hang in there. The first year might be tough. Honestly, I spent my entire first year or two talking about transferring to NYU… and a few of my friends did transfer. I am SO glad that I didn’t. I have met the most interesting and inspiring people while being at Bryn Mawr and have truly been able to pursue those pesky life questions. Stick with Bryn Mawr and I promise it will grow on you if you truly give it a chance.

That’s all for now. My masala is almost done and I don’t think I can stay away any longer.

Take care and enjoy this beautiful weather!

So, I just got back from my Saturday routine of going to the Bryn Mawr Farmer’s market (as I’ve written about before) and I saw plenty of Bryn Mawr students buying my favorite mint tea and lavender scones! It’s nice to see that everyone isn’t hiding in their room thesis-ing right now and, like me, can take a small break from studying to have fun and buy delicious local treats.

Autumn Foods at the Bryn Mawr Farmer's Market

On another note, I seem to have fully recovered from my concussion. (If you didn’t know, I hit my head rather badly on a desk two weeks ago.) My time of fighting with books and headaches is now over and now I simply have to catch up on everything. Essentially I’m fighting with books and headaches again, but these are more of the traditional Bryn Mawr kind. One thing that I’m very thankful for: Bryn Mawr and Haverford professors are very accommodating when it comes to injuries and extensions as long as you show that you are doing your best to keep-up. Most of my papers are out of the way and I’m back to working on my Thesis.

In case you don’t already know, most Bryn Mawr students have to write a thesis their senior year in order to graduate. I’ve been slowly gaining ground. Meetings with professors and advisors seem to always take my ideas in new directions. My thesis is currently: The Fairy Tale and Myth of Women’s Scottish and Irish National Identity… which I think is pretty great but surprisingly twisted from my original idea of Hans Christian Anderson and the globalization of the English language. You have to start somewhere I suppose.

Starting. In order to do anything, there is always a beginning.  When I was a freshman, I was so afraid of talking in class that I was mortified before going almost every time. Speaking is absolutely essential in BMC’s small seminar-style classes (which is virtually all of them.) Now, as a senior, I speak quite regularly almost to the point that I’m afraid of being annoying in some classes. What I was afraid of as a freshman was beginning. Everyone seemed to speak so much more elegantly than me… to have come from more prestigious private-school-style backgrounds than me… to have a more collegiate vocabulary than me… and this hindered me from taking part in discussion. What I didn’t realize then is that, no matter my background, everyone ‘begins’ at Bryn Mawr with a fresh slate. Slowly I gained the vocabulary and lost the fear, but I wish I hadn’t been so scared of starting off to begin with. Beginnings are important… but then again I’m still fine despite my off-beginning. I began again quite well this year as a senior and I’ll begin again next semester. Beginnings are important, but don’t worry if you don’t start off on the right foot. There is always a chance around the corner to get it right.

Now that that’s said, I’m going to start on catching up on my homework!

The chilly weather outside is reminding me of Copenhagen. A year ago, I was in that beautiful city just starting out my study abroad adventure. There weren’t pumpkins, but there was a very fairy-tale feeling to the quaint but also architecturally modern city. I miss the mixture, actually, of old and masterfully modern.

Here, there are pumpkins. I just got back from my Saturday routine of buying produce at the Bryn Mawr Farmer’s Market (which is literally just a scatter of stands in the parking lot close to Starbucks and Sunoco selling fresh produce and baked goods). Apple Cider, garlic, green peppers, lavender scones, and tomatoes later… I’m back home trying to catch up on all of my work.  Honestly, I prefer buying produce better than writing essays. I think if I go back and do it all again I should try for culinary school.

Of course, I don’t mean that.

That’s another thing. The closer I get to the end, the less I’m sure what the next beginning is.

Whatever I do and wherever I go it, must have a kind of enchantment of reality to it. That is what I’d say connects me to Bryn Mawr and to Copenhagen.  Bryn Mawr is not Hogwarts and the city of Copenhagen  does not transplant one to fairy-tale days. Real, imperfect, and flawed people live in these places. The magic is the flaws though. The construction amongst the gothic buildings… the moss covered stone next to the glass building…

Honestly, I don’t know what I’m going on about. But there is something special about living in these beautiful surroundings that I think will stay with me for the rest of my life.

Today, there are pumpkins and cold weather. I’m thinking about the past and the future.

Here, on this in-between day, in this in-between place, I’m very happy. I’m happy I found myself here.

Bryn Mawr College has changed me, my life, and everything in both profound and little ways. It’s funny to say since when I was a freshman I was dead set on transferring… that’s another story I’ll be sure to tell another time.

Today I’m simply happy for everything Bryn Mawr College has given me and enchanted by the knowledge that somehow I know everything after will be magical, flaws and all.